Your Move

In response to Daily Post’s Daily Prompt Retrospective

What are people striving for in life? What is it that they ultimately want to achieve?

People offer various answers when you ask them these questions. Some claim they want fame, others want money, some want to be able to return to their blog after months of not writing in it and expect to get the same level of response that they once used to get (Is it so much to ask?)

Where did everyone go?

But in the end, if you break it down, people are looking for control. To reach a state in life where they have power over what happens to them. Look back to anything being done around you and you will see that in some aspect or the other, it is true:

• Why did Nelson Mandela suffer in jail? He wanted people of his country to have control over themselves
• Why did Alexander Graham Bell invent the telephone? He wanted a degree of control over long distance communication
• Why did Hitler commence a World War? He wanted control…. Er, you get the point

That brings us to the next thing. What if we give people that they want. Give money seekers a winning lottery ticket, give fame seekers Instagram followers, give meditators a quiet place to be. Does that solve the problem that each one of us is facing?

Not exactly!

Because all the things that we are seeking are what we believe are means to give us power and control over what happens to us but that is not entirely true. So, once people achieve these things, they realise that there is more that they can have and start seeking out more control.

From what you have read so far, you probably think I am going to soon start talking about how we should not obsess of the materialistic things and live life in a void with no wants but that is akin to being empty inside.

Welcome to the VOID

In fact, I am here to stress the complete opposite.

People look at things which they believe give them control and follow it blindly. If you do that, Jack the Ripper had a better sense of purpose than you have.

Hey! I have better morals! (Maybe)

The point is that we as human beings get in a comfort zone doing what we are doing and do not think why we are doing it. We abandon things that we really want to do just so that we get – at times – a false sense of control, which we ultimately realise is insufficient. Things change and over a course of time, we realise that there are things that we can’t have back. And ultimately when we look back at all our effort, even though we might have enjoyed what we did, we might come to realise that there were things that we abandoned that need not have been left untouched.

The Pursuit of Happiness is not fulfilled by just rushing ahead and not looking at either side. If it were so, it would be called Horse Derby of Happiness

I will be happy if I reach the end

Yes, it is important to get fame, money, glory, safety, etc. but it is also important to not lose sight of other things that you want to do along the way.

I always thought that whenever I need an idea to write something in my blog, I could always go to the Daily Post‘s Daily Prompt and get some inspiration but, alas, upon my return to WordPress, I found that they have stopped putting up Daily Prompts. Now I will have to dig into their archives and search for random words like Retrospective and think about writing something, all the while not even getting enough people directed to me from their page.

So, that brings me to the final part of this blog.

Was this entire post about me being sad of having not utilised the Daily Prompt to get more internet readers for my anonymous blog posts? Or was it an actual satire for what we fail to do in life?

What can I say? We are who we are!

I will let that be a cliff-hanger as you control what you choose to make of it.

But till next time, from one writer to another, WRITE ON!

Killing Myself

Humans are cursed with the notion of self awareness. Through pages of history writers, painters, poets and scholars have dabbled with the notion of existence and, yet, here we are left as utterly confused as when we began. Millenniums of development and advancement of the mind that the Homo Sapien possess has not awarded any progress to the true understanding of our being. The notion of what life is remains as much as a mystery to Daniel Dennett as it was to Plato. Yet, here we are, each one of us, trying to understand what we are doing in this utterly confounded Universe as each moment passes by, ceasing to be.

But the curse does not terminate on attempting to understand the idea of existence. It propels itself, exploring the world beyond the being. If life elicits a conversation, death draws in a debate. The mere essence of ceasing to be leads one to ponder into depth of the human mind and fathom what might be beyond. It leads to a sense of wonderment to realize that the as many discussions there can be found about life, even greater discussions can be achieved by death: it’s complete opposite; or can they even be considered antonyms? Is not one an extension of other?

Alas, I deter from the true path I set onto tonight. The idea of committing an act considered heinous enough in itself, that people choose to shun even talking about it; avoid it at all costs. An idea that has plagued people’s mind since time immemorial. While the realms of the unknown have stopped some, it has craved others into its clutches. An act arising from the mere consequence of having a mind that can think.

Treading on the path of life, one unavoidably hits a roadblock. An inevitable response to the situation is to attempt to move beyond the road block. To take things head on, as they say; and that, probably, can be considered the right thing to do.

Then arises another situation, where you realise that the road you have been traveling on, is not a road at all. You were not even heading anywhere. One can be sure that they saw a road ahead of them; they even asked for directions along the way and, yet, the discovery of a non existence of the path leaves one in shambles. Efforts in vain, stranded in the middle of nowhere, the person has nothing else to do but to cease to be.

And that is precisely what I want to do tonight.

Today,

I die,

not a man,

but a Phoenix in its utmost glory.

For from the ashes of the burnt rises the belief to begin again.

Attempting to take one’s life resonates the idea of unable to live with the self. For all the glory that the minds in the history have disputed about the living and beyond, a certain fact remains. The self is not constant. If one is ready to go the extent of killing oneself, the person should commence and kill the idea that they have for themselves. Decimate the person that they hate so much, and become the new. When one cannot stand living the way they are, they should stop doing it and find a new way to live. For it is never that paths cease to exist, it is our inability to see the new ones.

True salvation cannot be achieved by ending the tread along the path that no longer remains. It is achieved from the ability to march till the end in the depths of the unknown. Walking up to death myself probably seems satisfying today, but it will never be as satisfying as seeing him smile as he greets me, bowing down at the end of whatever path I make after I kill myself.

 

It’s been a while

He walked to the bar and sat down on the stool like he had many times before. It wasn’t unusual that he was doing it. It was just awkward to be doing it after so long.

The bartender turned and looked at him, a familiar face. He could have passed him on as one of the regulars but he did not. He walked up to the man and blurted out, ‘Oh! You’re alive? Thought you to be dead by now.’

‘Aren’t you supposed to ask what drink I would like?’ the man sniggered. He did not mean it in a snide way. Just a sarcastic speech pattern he had developed over the years. And if anyone would understand the remark’s jovial nature, it would be the man standing in front of him.

‘Yeah,’ the bartender said. ‘I normally would, but I just got my newest gin. Imported from Spain. The first one’s on me.’

‘Don’t risk it,’ the man said. ‘I might just have one shot and leave. Leaving you to have paid for my entire stay.’

‘Well, if that is how it would be, I will accept it; but the first one is on me,’ the bartender presented a glass: one part gin, three part Cola.

The man picked up the glass, raised it to toast the bartender and tipped it down his throat.

A strange burning sensation shot down his throat and into the belly. It was not a bad feeling; it never was. It always was a little tough in the start but it grew into him. The taste developed an aftermath of an emotional plethora which he had long since experienced. The taste was nice: a bitter sweet kind, just as he imagined it to be before he had arrived in the bar.

‘So, what do you say?’ the bartender smiled.

‘Reminds me of the old times,’ the man twirled the glass around. ‘Makes me want to return.’

‘Then why don’t you?’

‘I am not sure if I can.’

‘Do you mean your friends?’

‘No, I made most of them when I became a regular. If they are around here even now, I will find them again.’

‘Then what is it?’

‘Maybe it’s just because it has been so long that I don’t think I have it in me anymore.’

‘Well, I won’t force you if you don’t want to but it really was nice seeing you again.’

‘Well, let me pay you for the drink at least, lest I abandon the place again,’ the man took out his wallet.

The bartender shook his head. ‘It’s already done,’ he said. ‘I have charged it to myself. I will wait for you to return; and if you don’t, consider this as a treat from an old friend.’

The man smiled and put his wallet back in.

‘I can’t guarantee that I will see you again soon,’ the man got up and put on his hat. ‘But I do promise that I will definitely try.’

Inspired, among other things, by The Daily Post’s Daily Prompt:
Dubious

 

No Write, No Wrong

“It was the end of only the first day of a three day weekend and I had already binge watched the first season of BBC’s Sherlock.

A three day weekend? Yeah, well… You see a senior professor from our college had passed away. He had a stroke in the middle of the night. Given that he had served most of his life teaching students in the same college, the management decided that it would only be fair to declare the next day as a holiday to pay homage. The ‘next day’ happened to be a Friday.

Needless to say, a lot of my friends decided to make an impromptu trip to the beach. I decided to stay back. Not because I thought it was wrong to go on a celebration on the day that had been declared off for a person who had died. No, that wasn’t the reason AT ALL. The thing is, I was saving up for a bigger trip during the holidays and I knew that with my appetite, I would need a bigger budget.
Don’t judge us. You would have done the same. It’s not like we were not sad that the professor had died. We were; but he died of natural causes and he was quite old – it had to happen some day. Everyone accepted it and went on to the beach. (You’re still judging us, but it’s okay. I don’t care anymore)

Anyway, so it was the end of Friday and I was tired from the constant staring at my laptop screen. I did what any college student would do when he is tired and ready to sleep. I decided to knock on a few doors along the corridor to ask for food. Once my insatiable hunger was partially curbed, I decided to hit the sack.

I had probably only slept for a few hours, when I woke up. It was the middle of the night and for some reason I could not go back to sleep. And you know what happens when you lie on the bed trying to go to sleep and, for some reason, you can’t. That’s right – My brain entered ‘philosopher mode‘. I started to think about life and things that happen in life. Well, mostly my life, but you get the picture.

It was then that I realized that how meagre life really is but yet, there exists an enormous amount of things that we can learn. How did I reach there? I have no clue. It could have been the thought of being alone while all my friends were out to party; it could have been the death of a professor who we saw day in and day and only the other day had seemed like he would go on for ten more years; or it could have been the fact that my phone was blinking with low battery and I was too lazy to get up and plug it on the other side of the room. (With night thoughts, you never really know what leads where).

Whatever reason it might have been, it led me to an epiphany – learning is infinite in this finite life of ours.”

---

Why did I narrate this story?
If you answered for dark humor – you are right! But not quite there…

The thing is, when I realised that there are so many things to learn, I decided to actively learn more each day. Learn as much as I can before I die. It’s not that I did not do things before. I always tried my hand at everything.
I had always been the person who would tag along with people to play water polo when I could barely keep myself afloat (No, I was not suicidal). But after that night, I decided to actively learn more things. Even if I don’t like them.

So what do I do when I don’t write? I travel. I explore. I observe. I listen. And through all that I learn.
I still binge watch shows. I still travel with friends. I still eat food (I do this a lot, actually). But now, all of that, along with enjoyment, is a learning process as well.

By no means is this a way to inspire anyone to do better. I could care less about that (Grammar tip: This means I do care a little and am trying actively to care less. When you don’t care at all, you say – I couldn’t care less).

I mean, if I had to give a TED talk seminar, even that crowd of sophisticated adults would boo me off stage since instead of inspiring people, I would narcissistically keep talking about myself.

I am just responding to a prompt from Blogging University’s Writing 101, which asked what I do when I don’t write, and I think I have gone on too long with that as well. So, I will stop.

Normally, I end my non fiction posts by my catchphrase asking you to WRITE ON.
But, for today, from one writer to another, take a step back and RELAX.

Break-Up Letter (To Writer’s Block)

Dear Writer’s Block,

It’s not you, it’s me. The thing is, we cannot be together any longer. I mean, I just don’t think we can continue to see each other anymore. Your presence is making me feel restricted; like something is holding me back from doing something I really like.

Again, I would like to stress on the fact that you are not at fault here. You from your side have just been doing exactly what you are supposed to do; but the thing is, with you around I feel miserable. Sure, I enjoy the extra rest that I get with your presence and the fact that when you are here I don’t have to strain my mind thinking up of fantasies and fiction in bed; or on the table; or in the canteen;  in fact, every possible place that I can think of.
But is that what life is all about? Isn’t being together meant to be more than these things?

You tried really hard by making me see the small things in life, like Angry Birds and Candy Crush, but the truth is, as addicting as they are, I never really enjoyed them. I did it because of your presence, and I would like to come out clean and say that if it weren’t for you, I probably would not have been doing those things, EVER. I know this might have shocked you but this is what the truth is. The things I enjoyed due to your presence are not the things I really like.

There are times when people look back at something that went wrong and tell themselves that they are ready to move on, to let go; but then they are somehow afraid to actually do so. Maybe because they are unsure of what the future holds for them. But by being scared of the future, they are holding on to the past, which is not doing them any good at all. I think I have realized that with you, I am just trying to hold on to the past. I think it is about time that we both move on and look at new things life has to offer.

I am sure that there will be another who you will find – you seem to have a knack for that. Someone who is probably more suited to be with you than I am. I really think that you deserve someone better; probably someone who likes your presence and would treat you the way you are supposed to be treated.

In the end I would like to say one last thing. I know this is a small world and people do bump into each other, but with all the time I have spent with you, it would be better if we never see each other again. I say this because I do not want to recreate the feelings that I had when you were around.

I hope you understand that this is the best road for both of us to take.

Farewell.

The Annoying List

In response to Blogging University’s Writing 101. Task for Day 2: Make a List

With so many things to learn in this huge world of ours, whatever we learn seems less. Every time I learn something new, I realize that there is so much more to explore. And yet, listing down the things I HAVE learnt is so annoying.

Here’s a list to show some of those.

a. Monday is always irritating – I have learnt to accept Monday as it is. It will be annoying and hectic and will always induce those butterflies in the stomach. I thought that it will go away after I move on from school. Little did I know, Mondays will always be the same.

Every Week

b. People WILL honk their horns – How many times have we been stuck in traffic and people have honked their horns when the light is CLEARLY still red? For me it is too many to remember. As much as my road rage builds up, I have realized that there will always be that one smart ass who I will want to say – ‘Fly over my car if you can, asshole!‘

Road Rage

c. There will always be people who abbreviate words – People who read my blog post regularly will know that I hate to see words abbreviated unnecessarily. But there are times when people will do that. There will be that one odd guy who uses ‘u‘ instead of ‘you‘ or maybe ‘lyf‘ for ‘life‘.
I accept it. And from my side, I make sure to delay the response by exactly double the amount of time he/she might have saved while typing lesser letters. Take that!

My Reaction

d. People will walk slow in front of you – This happens especially when you are in a hurry. So, the best thing to do is to start early but if you do find yourself stuck in situation like that, there is a passive aggressive way to go about dealing with things. You could step on the heel of their shoe and act like it was a mistake. Generally, twice should be enough to either make their shoes come off, so you can walk ahead or they let you simply walk ahead.

Warning – Don’t try to do this on people who walk slow because of physical handicaps. That is just crazy and insensitive and would actually get you beaten up.

e. Email Spam will exist – Whether it is a Nigerian Prince on his death bed claiming to be giving you his complete fortune, or a magical pill that can make you thin in a day. There will always be email trying to scam money out of you. Don’t click on the link, don’t send a mail back, just grin and press delete.

Just Press Delete

f. Video Game lag happens – To all the gamers out there, you know what I am talking about. Lag happens and just when you are about to knife your opponent in his back. You can blame the lag once, maybe even twice but do it always and you will be branded a sore loser. Sometimes, it is better to accept that you lost than blame it on lag.

h. Life will feel over – There will be times when you will feel that there is no point of existence anymore. Everyone falls to this pit some time. For most, it happens when you finish a good book or an awesome TV series. But what can we do? Get up and start again, that’s what. Find new things to do. Life is not over. Try watching another series. Go ahead!

Try to Get Over It

i. Mistakes happen – Life is meant to be a learning experience. Even if you decide to stay at home and do nothing, you will make mistakes and you will learn from them. There is no need to worry about it if people notice. Sure, if you are in high school try your best not to make mistakes but as you get older people accept it. Most of the times, it’s just in our head and most people don’t even notice till you point it out by saying that you forgot to add the point ‘g’ in the list.

j. Life Goes On – No matter what you do. No matter what happens around you. No matter what people say. Life goes. You might try to hide in the corner of your basement and try to accept the fact, but it won’t change. You are happy but life will go and make you sad at some point, and then it will continue to go on and make you happy again. Just go on with it and live it to the fullest. That’s the best thing you can do about it.

Just Live and Enjoy

These are just a few things that I have learnt happens. There is so much more that I have learnt in life but one has to stop somewhere. You wouldn’t want to read my complete life story now, would you?

I will be here again tomorrow with another prompt. Till then, from one writer to another, WRITE ON!

The Wait (Part 2)

I remember writing about The Wait for my friend in restaurant quite a while back.

Unless you have a photographic memory or have been following the blog from the start, chances are you might not know about it. So, you may click the link to read the first part.

Waiting is one the most awkward things for the human race. So, instead of looking like a loner while I wait, now I read articles in my cell phone. I am totally against this and would rather watch humans eating in their natural habitat but some people consider it creepy and I don’t want to be kicked out of the restaurant. (Never happened before, I swear)

Having a cell phone out in public can be a big threat it seems. Specially if there are kids around. I was sitting at a restaurant waiting for my friend. So, I flip out my cell phone and start using the free wi-fi the restaurant had provided. (Well, it wasn’t free but having the restaurant name in caps is not a safe password).

While, I was freeloading to the extreme (I had started updating all my pending apps *evil laugh*), a child walks up to me and stands next to me. I don’t pay much attention to the pint sized human and continue to read on my cell phone. He looked at me with a look that said – “Pay attention to me“; with a hint of – “I want that cell phone“; with an garnishing of – “I always get what I want“.
He pointed to the gadget which was helping me escape the anxiety of making eye contact with a stranger and said. “I want that!” So, I did what any normal person would and turned the other way to ignore him.

I normally don’t have problems with kids because I can get along with them. I just have to induce a wicked thought in their mind and I go scot-free. It is that simple.

But this kid was different. I swear I could see him laugh before he did what he did next. He fell down on the floor and started crying. And his fall was professional! Like he had learnt it directly from the football (soccer) players. (You know the ones who fake a fall to get a penalty)

His mother walked up to me, naturally assuming I had dome something horrid with the Satan re-incarnated.

“What happened?” she asked him and he pointed to me.

I expertly clear my throat to explain the matter to her.

What I thought I was going to say – “He fell down in a tantrum when I denied him my phone.”

What I actually said – “His fell tantrum on my phone… Football… Satan”

“My kid doesn’t cry just on a whim, what did you do?”

I knew I was trapped. I saw my friend enter the restaurant.

“Run, away. Run away before they get you too. I am all but lost.” I told her.
Well, I did not say it out loud but we have sign language that says that. It is me looking at her wide eyed and shaking my head. She turned and walk out like she was at the wrong place, while I stayed to get the mistaken mother’s wrath.

Pointless Abbreviations

In response to Daily Post’s Daily Prompt: Game of Groans

Warning: The following post is rated TV-MA L. It contains strong sarcasm and is intended for mature audiences. Reader Discretion is advised.

I have written about this before and I am writing about it again.

Why? – I hear you ask. Well, because I simply admire the way language has evolved into the filth *coughs* — I mean, the wonder it is today.

After various trial and errors, English Language evolved into a form which is seen and used today. I am not talking about language we learn in the grammar classes in school. I am talking about the type which everyone uses while texting.

It all started many years ago, when the cell phones had only just become a common man’s necessity. Some wise-ass decided that the devices should be used to send small memos (which we commonly know as text messages nowadays). The best idea which this person had was to restrict the world limit to each sent text.

This, combined with the fact that we had to punch a button three freaking times just to get the letter ‘I’, led us to believe that it would be better to just abbreviate words and cut out on unnecessary letters while having a conversation.

It was not Easy

I wish I could find those kids who started off with this trend. They definitely deserve a big slap *clears throat* – I mean, thank you. After all, “OMG! It’s just 2 kul!”

The world evolved into a place where character restrictions no longer remained a problem – except on twitter (which, by the way, is also so amazingly cool) – and the typing changed to qwerty mode in almost all phones but THANKFULLY, people did not drop the cool lingo.

I think about the future when the civilization looks back and sees immortal phrases such as

‘ikr! Ur lyk totz my bae’

‘Lulz. K.’

and the best of them all,

‘mah lyf, mah rulz’

The last one does not even involve shortening a word. It in fact, makes it longer than before. Who would write my, when one can write mah, amirite?

I am glad people don’t write complete sentences anymore. Even though, sometimes, it gets tough to follow the conversation but who cares about having a nice talk when one can be stupid *ahem* – I mean, fancy!

The Zombie Block

So, I seemed to have entered some sort of writer’s block. Some sort of writer’s block I say because it is not entirely the lack of creative ideas which is turning out to be a problem. The real problem lies in my sheer and utter lack of will power to do more physical activity than shifting my laptop from one position to another so that my neck does cramp while I lie on my bed and browse through the internet.

I think the internet has had this effect on most of us. The zombie apocalypse which everyone has been preparing for is somewhat misread. It is the internet which is causing us to turn into this lethargic beast which aimlessly wanders the boundless paths of the world wide web much like the zombies which we have imagined to be aimlessly wandering the boundless paths of the world. Also, much unlike the zombie equivalents we do occasionally search for some matter which could help us sustain our half dead – half alive state.

Think about it, if zombies could talk and after hours of wandering around on the street you happen to catch one and ask, ‘what were you doing?’, what would the response be?

My guess is it would say, ‘nothing,’ same as what your response would be after aimlessly browsing through the web trying to make sense of your living.

The True Apocalypse

I can make many more comparisons as to how the human race is wrongly equipping itself to fight zombies. Guns and ammunition aren’t going to help if all of us just stick to browsing through internet. So, get your ass up and get motivated to deal with your life while I do the same and remember that we can’t give in…

…er, I will continue with this later, I just saw a post on my phone about 12 facts about kitten that will blow my mind. I really have to see it!

Seven Fifteen

In response to Daily Post’s Daily Prompt: Fifteen Credits

SNOOZE

I pressed the button on my alarm a third time. Even the daily routine could not make me accustomed to waking up on time. I flipped over and buried my head in the pillow and then from the corner of my right eye I squinted to look at the time on the clock. 7.15 it said in a green digital format. I really did not feel like going to school. I had homework due that day and I had not done it.

‘I know,’ I thought, ‘I will skip school today and tell them I was sick. That way I wont get punished for not having done my homework and would have all of today to play video games. Great now that I have figured that out, I will just have to act sick in front of mom and hope she lets me be.‘

SILENT

I pressed the button on my alarm, almost before it even rang. Daily routine had probably made my body accustomed to waking up at the exact same time everyday. On most days, like that, I wake up even before the alarm rings. 7.15 it said in a green digital format. I folded my blanket and kept it on the pillow and moved on the complete my daily activity. I really did not feel like going to work that day. I was sick but I had a project submission due that day and some of the work was still left.

‘I really wished I could call sick,‘ I thought as I dressed up. ‘But I have to submit this project today and all I would do at home is probably play video games. It would be better if I go. I will just have to act normal in front of my colleagues and hope they let me be.‘

Things will change and we will too, so it is important to say that the past is a nice place to visit but not a good place to stay in.