A Pill for Food

In response to Daily Post’s Daily Prompt: Red Pill, Blue Pill

The following is an excerpt from how my diary would look like if I happen to find a pill to fulfill all my nutrition requirement for the day

Dear Diary,

7.28 am

I almost committed a murder today. To be fair, it was not my fault—it was for self defense. A weird, long bearded man was sitting in front of my bed when I woke up. I punched him right across the face. How was I to know that he was a wizard from another dimension? I did apologise to him afterwards but I doubt he will forgive me till his black eye exists.

So, anyway, he gave me a magic pill which would provide me with all the nutrition I would need throughout the day. Given the amount of food I consume, I did doubt the legitimacy of the pill. But, the wizard kept insisting that it would work—even for a man who is perpetually hungry throughout the day—and asked me to take it.

Once that was done, he walked out of the door; which makes me question highly if he really was a true wizard—because real wizards tend to teleport.

11.04 am

It is actually working! I haven’t felt hungry yet. Normally, by this time I would have had my breakfast, twice, but I didn’t feel the need for it today.

Maybe he truly was a wizard. I underestimated his powers.

Imagine what I can accomplish today with no need to cook or to spend time eating my meal or to clean up after I have eaten. I can get so much work done.

5.21 pm

I binged watched the entire season of House of Cards. With no need to get food or water, it became all the more easy. I did not have to get up even once after I had found that perfect sweet position on the couch.

House of Cards
House of Cards

Although, I did ruin my chance to get so much of my other work done.

Not to fret. The pill is supposed to work for 24 hours; I still have time. I will get my work done now.

7.26 pm

I finished watching Kingsman.

Kingsman
Kingsman

It was amazing. Colin Firth is just splendid to watch. Not to mention Michael Caine and—

I am still not doing any work! This is just a waste of a perfectly good magic pill.

Maybe I should go for a walk. That can change my mind and freshen me up a bit.

9.01 pm

I ate slice of cake. I know I already had my complete dose of nutrition for the day but it was chocolate and I thought dessert doesn’t count, right? Plus, the pill made me full but it did not have any taste. How can I enjoy food when I do not receive any taste that comes along with it.

Slice of Cake
Slice of Cake

I don’t feel guilty at all. If I could, I would have another slice. In fact, I think there is one in the refrigerator. I will have that and get to my work.

12.31 am

I sat down to do my work and wrote down a few things in the spreadsheet when I remembered that new Deadpool Trailer was out and I hadn’t seen it yet. What harm is one video, right? Well, I don’t know how I reached here but I am currently reading about the mating habits of koala bears. I think that’s enough of internet for today.

I am feeling really sleepy now.

The pill was no use. I didn’t get any work done more than I would have on any other day. In fact, I did less work. I am never going to take that pill again.

Note to self

Never trust a wizard who you find staring at you when you wake up.
Truly speaking, he was very creepy. I don’t even know how long he was staring at me before I woke up; could have been hours, for all I know. (Although, he did claim to have been there only minutes before I woke up).

Missing Breakfasts

Staying in a hostel, I got into this, albeit not so good, habit of staying up late watching movies, playing games or sometimes doing random nothing on the night before a weekend or a holiday. This generally caused me to miss breakfast those days.

An observant and slightly inquisitive friend of mine asked me why I miss breakfast. ‘Do you not like the breakfast in mess?’

‘I like the breakfast in mess,’ I replied calmly. ‘That is the only meal which I like in the mess. In fact, I like breakfast so much that if it were up to me I would have had breakfast for lunch and dinner as well.’

There was a slight pause as I swallowed a large swig of my coffee.

‘It’s just that, I like sleep even more.’

Stale Food

Monsoon arrived and I, as curious as I am, wanted to see how long the food can be kept out without it going bad. So, I kept a few sample pieces of food out on the window sill and decided to check them each hour.

I found that it takes exactly 2 hours for the neighborhood cat to figure out that the food is not being watched for a complete hour.