Doctor’s visit: a boring affair that one wants to avoid; but as luck would have it, I found myself sitting in the waiting room of a general practitioner. (A) I knew I just needed antibiotics, but I couldn’t get some without a prescription. It would take me hardly a minute but there were five people waiting in front of me. (B) Suddenly, I was hit with an idea that only Satan himself could have incepted in me.
‘I m at the doctor’s,’ I pretended to talk on my phone. ‘Right? Even I don’t know why he decided to make cuts on all my fingers to collect blood sample for a leg injury…’
The plan was working. From the corner of my eye, I could see everyone get uncomfortable and as I made the details more gruesome, everyone started to leave. (D) All but one had left. I upped my game to make the scene more horrendous, but he wouldn’t budge. I had just finished making the doctor take my pancreas out when he slid next to me and tapped my shoulder. (C)
‘You can stop now,’ he said. ‘I made the doctor cut my toes off for a headache a little while ago.’
Based on the prompt: Write a very short story – not more than 200 words – about a trip to the doctor or dentist using the ABDCE (Action, Background, Development, Climax, Ending) structure. Identify the structural elements in your story.
In response to Daily Post’s Daily Prompt Retrospective
What are people striving for in life? What is it that they ultimately want to achieve?
People offer various answers when you ask them these questions. Some claim they want fame, others want money, some want to be able to return to their blog after months of not writing in it and expect to get the same level of response that they once used to get (Is it so much to ask?)
Where did everyone go?
But in the end, if you break it down, people are looking for control. To reach a state in life where they have power over what happens to them. Look back to anything being done around you and you will see that in some aspect or the other, it is true:
Why did Nelson Mandela suffer in jail? He wanted people of his country to have control over themselves
Why did Alexander Graham Bell invent the telephone? He wanted a degree of control over long distance communication
Why did Hitler commence a World War? He wanted control…. Er, you get the point
That brings us to the next thing. What if we give people that they want. Give money seekers a winning lottery ticket, give fame seekers Instagram followers, give meditators a quiet place to be. Does that solve the problem that each one of us is facing?
Not exactly!
Because all the things that we are seeking are what we believe are means to give us power and control over what happens to us but that is not entirely true. So, once people achieve these things, they realise that there is more that they can have and start seeking out more control.
From what you have read so far, you probably think I am going to soon start talking about how we should not obsess of the materialistic things and live life in a void with no wants but that is akin to being empty inside.
Welcome to the VOID
In fact, I am here to stress the complete opposite.
People look at things which they believe give them control and follow it blindly. If you do that, Jack the Ripper had a better sense of purpose than you have.
Hey! I have better morals! (Maybe)
The point is that we as human beings get in a comfort zone doing what we are doing and do not think why we are doing it. We abandon things that we really want to do just so that we get – at times – a false sense of control, which we ultimately realise is insufficient. Things change and over a course of time, we realise that there are things that we can’t have back. And ultimately when we look back at all our effort, even though we might have enjoyed what we did, we might come to realise that there were things that we abandoned that need not have been left untouched.
The Pursuit of Happiness is not fulfilled by just rushing ahead and not looking at either side. If it were so, it would be called Horse Derby of Happiness
I will be happy if I reach the end
Yes, it is important to get fame, money, glory, safety, etc. but it is also important to not lose sight of other things that you want to do along the way.
I always thought that whenever I need an idea to write something in my blog, I could always go to the Daily Post‘s Daily Prompt and get some inspiration but, alas, upon my return to WordPress, I found that they have stopped putting up Daily Prompts. Now I will have to dig into their archives and search for random words like Retrospective and think about writing something, all the while not even getting enough people directed to me from their page.
So, that brings me to the final part of this blog.
Was this entire post about me being sad of having not utilised the Daily Prompt to get more internet readers for my anonymous blog posts? Or was it an actual satire for what we fail to do in life?
What can I say? We are who we are!
I will let that be a cliff-hanger as you control what you choose to make of it.
But till next time, from one writer to another, WRITE ON!
Before we get to the post, let me just tell you how I got here.
About a fortnight ago, at the end of my post – Let Me Be – I gave you, the readers, a poll to choose what I should write. And majority of you said that I should do a sarcastic take on life.
What? You think sarcasm is easy? – Well, it probably is. I wouldn’t know. Not like I have ever been sarcastic.
And the worst part is, nobody voted for poetry! Art is dying! People are choosing sarcasm over poetry! It’s dying!
(And you don’t think I can write good poetry? You should read about my visit to a strange Ice Cream Shop, then)
And no. Don’t even think about going back and putting your vote in now. The votes are closed. Well, technically, it’s still open since I don’t know how to close it, but I won’t be looking at it again – so yeah, closed.
I mean going and voting now would be like skipping elections and then saying, ‘I didn’t want Donald Trump to win. It just happened.’
(Don’t let it happen people!)
That’s why I don’t let people have the power. Monarchy for the win! Well, in this context, at least.
Ahem!
Coming to the post. As you can guess from the title, it’s about arguments. *dramatic music*
Arguments –
A state in which all people involved want to be heard but nobody wants to listen. Basically, it is the thing people resort to, since saying, ‘I am not listening, la la la la…‘ is not an acceptable, adult way to deal with things.
Not Listening
Whenever you see an argument happening, there are a few types of people you might find around.
The people involved in the argument – These are the people who are in the heat of the action. They have blood shot eyes and will rip out the others’ organs if it becomes acceptable to do so. The true characteristic trait of this being, though, is that they ALWAYS believe that they are right. Examples include – People in TV debates and Parents deciding whose turn it is to go change the baby’s diaper.
A Normal Argument
People who look like they are involved in the argument – There will be a person who will be going head to head with people in the heat. It may LOOK like the matter also concerns them, but more often than not, it doesn’t. Examples include – People during a public protest and Your best friend when you get in an argument
The Middle Man
People having the time of their life – These people look like they are concerned about the well being of the people involved in the argument but they are actually enjoying the whole thing. They might SEEM to care about the subject but they just want to watch the world burn, starting from the people that are arguing in front of them (not literally, of course). Examples include – Your boyfriend when you are fighting with your male best friend and Marriage counsellors.
Oh! The joy!
People actually trying to stop the whole thing – These are the people who actually, genuinely want to stop the whole thing from taking place. They might be concerned about the well being of the people involved in the argument. But, most of the times, they are just tired of their shit. Examples include – Your mother when she was trying to separate you and your sibling from killing each other and Judges in court
Care Bears
People who don’t care – For all they care, you can go die in a ditch. They don’t care and they don’t give a fuck as long as you don’t involve them. And even then, they would just get up and walk away. Examples include – Well, me.
Burn away – I don’t care
That’s about all there is you need to know about arguments.
I hope you are better equipped to handle life now. Or not, I don’t care.
You made me do this. You better think it’s good!
You can tell me which group you belong to in the comments below and I will try my best to reply with a sarcastic comment. There is a large possibility that I wouldn’t be able to come up with a witty comment, so I will just leave a like or the general boring comment which you read day in and day out.
Until next time, from one writer to another, WRITE ON!
It’s not you, it’s me. The thing is, we cannot be together any longer. I mean, I just don’t think we can continue to see each other anymore. Your presence is making me feel restricted; like something is holding me back from doing something I really like.
Again, I would like to stress on the fact that you are not at fault here. You from your side have just been doing exactly what you are supposed to do; but the thing is, with you around I feel miserable. Sure, I enjoy the extra rest that I get with your presence and the fact that when you are here I don’t have to strain my mind thinking up of fantasies and fiction in bed; or on the table; or in the canteen; in fact, every possible place that I can think of.
But is that what life is all about? Isn’t being together meant to be more than these things?
You tried really hard by making me see the small things in life, like Angry Birds and Candy Crush, but the truth is, as addicting as they are, I never really enjoyed them. I did it because of your presence, and I would like to come out clean and say that if it weren’t for you, I probably would not have been doing those things, EVER. I know this might have shocked you but this is what the truth is. The things I enjoyed due to your presence are not the things I really like.
There are times when people look back at something that went wrong and tell themselves that they are ready to move on, to let go; but then they are somehow afraid to actually do so. Maybe because they are unsure of what the future holds for them. But by being scared of the future, they are holding on to the past, which is not doing them any good at all. I think I have realized that with you, I am just trying to hold on to the past. I think it is about time that we both move on and look at new things life has to offer.
I am sure that there will be another who you will find – you seem to have a knack for that. Someone who is probably more suited to be with you than I am. I really think that you deserve someone better; probably someone who likes your presence and would treat you the way you are supposed to be treated.
In the end I would like to say one last thing. I know this is a small world and people do bump into each other, but with all the time I have spent with you, it would be better if we never see each other again. I say this because I do not want to recreate the feelings that I had when you were around.
I hope you understand that this is the best road for both of us to take.
In response to Daily Task of Blogging University’s Writing 101: The Space to Write
Where do I like to be when I write? – Huh? That is a tough question. (Well, actually it’s not but every time somebody says that, it feels like they have thought a lot about the question posed)
The answer: I like to be in my head when I write.
I have developed a habit of zoning out of things in my vicinity when I get to work. It started long time ago – almost around the time Archimedes discovered the Archimedes’ Principle. I realized that a naked man running around the street is too much to handle, so I decided to zone out of the ruckus and concentrate on my writing.
What? – You don’t believe I could be that old? – You believe in Stephenie Meyer’s vampires but have a hard time believing this? – Suit yourself. I will zone you out too.
You Are Zoned Out
Anyway, what I basically want to say is I don’t really care where I am writing. I can get into the deep trenches of my mind and ignore whatever happens around me. That does NOT mean I don’t get distracted when people come and talk directly to me.
I mean, it’s just annoying when I am minding my own business sitting in a coffee house and a random person walks up to say – ‘Oh! So you’re writer? Nice!’ Yeah, well, it was; until you showed up to disturb me.
Or when I sit in the comfort of my home and the landlord comes up to say – ‘Your rent is due. Make sure you have it tomorrow.’ I will get to it. Writing does not exactly pay pretty well.
Or when I am sitting at the side of the road and a random person walks up to me and says – ‘Hey, you got a little of them drugs?’ No, I don’t! Now get lost!
Okay, fine. I agree the last one was partly my fault, but you get what I mean. I can write anywhere, as long as nobody talks to me directly.
As for what I use. I prefer to use my laptop but it’s not like I carry it around everywhere, mostly because I am worried people might get to know about the songs I downloaded illegally and I don’t want to go to prison. If you think I could pay for bail… Well, why do you think I had to download songs illegally in the first place?
If that does happen some day, I do hope they don’t put me in the same cell as the ones convicted for Heavy Metal downloads.
Criminals
If I am prepared to write outside of the comforts of my home, I carry a notebook along with me (the old fashioned one, not the machine). If not, I carry a pen lest I get an inspiration. Then I just use any piece of paper I can get my hands on. Isn’t that why all restaurants and bars have tissue papers in the first place?
That was all about my way of writing. Now, it’s up to you to decide what I write in the future. At least, that is what Writing 101 wants us to do – give power to the reader! So here is your chance to shine, readers of my blog—however limited you all may be—cast your votes!
In response to Daily Task of Blogging University’s Writing 101: Let Social Media Inspire You
The following post has a high sarcasm content and is not suitable for people who are easily susceptible to things written on the internet. Reader discretion is advised.
Also, the post is inspired by the following tweet.
I can't decide if procrastination kills creativity or is essential to it.
I have seen many tips online on how not to procrastinate but I have never found tips which could actually help somebody procrastinate if they are having trouble doing so. I am here to fill that vacant spot by taking the road not taken.
Follow these steps precisely and you will see yourself procrastinate away to glory.
Step 1 – Search for something you should be doing. Make sure it isn’t due for at least a week later. And the more important it is, the better. Do you have to study for an upcoming test? Do you have to make a presentation for work? Do you have to file your returns? Excellent! Just pick any one of them.
Step 2 – Sit at your desk to do it BUT don’t start doing it just yet! Open your laptop to blank power point presentation. Open the book to the page you want to study. After you have done that. Stare at it. Don’t read any of it, just stare it.
Step 3– Think about how much effort has to be put into this work and then slowly come to a realization that you have a lot of time left for it to be completed. Just gently slide out of your desk.
Just Be Gentle
Step 4– Think about all the other important things that are left. Like laundry. Or maybe you could clean your room that you haven’t cleaned for a long time. You could even try to catch up on the sleep you have been meaning to. (Note this step is for people who are new to procrastination. For more advanced procrastinators – skip straight to step 5)
Rest is Important
Step 5 – Do none of the important stuff and watch a movie instead – you know you want to, but you never just got the time. Besides, you have a lot of time to complete the work. You will do it tomorrow. Or you could try watching a TV series. Maybe read that book? – Reading is not bad, is it? You could also try searching the internet for work related thing and get caught up looking at cat videos. Or start playing that video game you had been waiting to try.
So many things to do, you can’t start your work just yet.
Listen to Kim
Step 6 – Repeat the steps 1 to 5 till there is only one day left to the deadline.
Step 7 – This is a two part step.
a. Enter panic mode and start calculating time left before deadline. In this step make sure you give less time to each part of the process and believe that you can achieve the task in lesser amount of time than you can actually do it in. “Meh! I have 24 hours left. I need only 5 hours to do it.”
b. Get complacent and convince yourself that you can squeeze in a movie before you start. After all, you should start with a fresh mind, right? Once you have done that look at the time and convince yourself yet again that you can still binge watch the first season of Game of Thrones and have enough time later do your work.
Step 8 – Now you are really close to your deadline. Only a few hours to go. Plus you have to catch sleep as well. Don’t calm yourself. Let adrenaline kick in – you will need that. And when, and only when, you panic enough for adrenaline to kick in do you move to the next step.
Step 9 – Rush through your work like a drug hazed maniac.
Steps Seven Ate Nine
Step 10 – This is the last step. You can choose either of the following things to do in this step.
1. Believe that since you could complete the work in 4 hours you must be some genius.
2. Convince yourself that you can only work in the last minute rush and your mind wouldn’t function other wise.
3. Make yourself convinced that if had not been for adrenaline, your creative power would have been slowed by a huge magnitude.
Simply Brilliant
Note – If you are having difficulty in choosing what you have to instead of your work. Don’t go back to your work. You can stare at the wall and ponder about your life choices. That works as well.
This list has worked for me for years. I can even call myself a professional procrastinator now. In fact, I remember I always did double time every time exams were near or I had to submit an assignment. So, you can pretty much trust this list.
“Procrastination doesn’t kill creativity but by no means does it allow it to grow” – Me
In response to Daily Post’s Daily Prompt: Game of Groans
Warning: The following post is rated TV-MA L. It contains strong sarcasm and is intended for mature audiences. Reader Discretion is advised.
I have written about this before and I am writing about it again.
Why? – I hear you ask. Well, because I simply admire the way language has evolved into the filth *coughs* — I mean, the wonder it is today.
After various trial and errors, English Language evolved into a form which is seen and used today. I am not talking about language we learn in the grammar classes in school. I am talking about the type which everyone uses while texting.
It all started many years ago, when the cell phones had only just become a common man’s necessity. Some wise-ass decided that the devices should be used to send small memos (which we commonly know as text messages nowadays). The best idea which this person had was to restrict the world limit to each sent text.
This, combined with the fact that we had to punch a button three freaking times just to get the letter ‘I’, led us to believe that it would be better to just abbreviate words and cut out on unnecessary letters while having a conversation.
It was not Easy
I wish I could find those kids who started off with this trend. They definitely deserve a big slap *clears throat* – I mean, thank you. After all, “OMG! It’s just 2 kul!”
The world evolved into a place where character restrictions no longer remained a problem – except on twitter (which, by the way, is also so amazingly cool) – and the typing changed to qwerty mode in almost all phones but THANKFULLY, people did not drop the cool lingo.
I think about the future when the civilization looks back and sees immortal phrases such as
‘ikr! Ur lyk totz my bae’
‘Lulz. K.’
and the best of them all,
‘mah lyf, mah rulz’
The last one does not even involve shortening a word. It in fact, makes it longer than before. Who would write my, when one can write mah, amirite?
I am glad people don’t write complete sentences anymore. Even though, sometimes, it gets tough to follow the conversation but who cares about having a nice talk when one can be stupid *ahem* – I mean, fancy!
The AnonymouSTalker 