Make a Still Life

Poetry prompt: Write a poem that describes an object. Use no abstraction, only image. Be as literal as possible. Pick up the object (if you can), look at it from as many different angles as possible. Consider its color, its weight, its texture, its material and write up a picture!

In my hand I hold
an object made of wood.
It is slim in shape
and if you want you could

Use it to fill colour
on a paper or canvas.
It even has hair on it,
like thorns on a cactus,

Which you can dip
in water to make it wet
and then make the picture
as pretty as it can get.

The hair I just mentioned
forms its crown.
Its body is smooth and
coloured dark brown.

By now I hope you can
see the object I hold.
I tried to make the image
very vivid and bold.

The Wait (Part 2)

I remember writing about The Wait for my friend in restaurant quite a while back.

Unless you have a photographic memory or have been following the blog from the start, chances are you might not know about it. So, you may click the link to read the first part.

Waiting is one the most awkward things for the human race. So, instead of looking like a loner while I wait, now I read articles in my cell phone. I am totally against this and would rather watch humans eating in their natural habitat but some people consider it creepy and I don’t want to be kicked out of the restaurant. (Never happened before, I swear)

Having a cell phone out in public can be a big threat it seems. Specially if there are kids around. I was sitting at a restaurant waiting for my friend. So, I flip out my cell phone and start using the free wi-fi the restaurant had provided. (Well, it wasn’t free but having the restaurant name in caps is not a safe password).

While, I was freeloading to the extreme (I had started updating all my pending apps *evil laugh*), a child walks up to me and stands next to me. I don’t pay much attention to the pint sized human and continue to read on my cell phone. He looked at me with a look that said – “Pay attention to me“; with a hint of – “I want that cell phone“; with an garnishing of – “I always get what I want“.
He pointed to the gadget which was helping me escape the anxiety of making eye contact with a stranger and said. “I want that!” So, I did what any normal person would and turned the other way to ignore him.

I normally don’t have problems with kids because I can get along with them. I just have to induce a wicked thought in their mind and I go scot-free. It is that simple.

But this kid was different. I swear I could see him laugh before he did what he did next. He fell down on the floor and started crying. And his fall was professional! Like he had learnt it directly from the football (soccer) players. (You know the ones who fake a fall to get a penalty)

His mother walked up to me, naturally assuming I had dome something horrid with the Satan re-incarnated.

“What happened?” she asked him and he pointed to me.

I expertly clear my throat to explain the matter to her.

What I thought I was going to say – “He fell down in a tantrum when I denied him my phone.”

What I actually said – “His fell tantrum on my phone… Football… Satan”

“My kid doesn’t cry just on a whim, what did you do?”

I knew I was trapped. I saw my friend enter the restaurant.

“Run, away. Run away before they get you too. I am all but lost.” I told her.
Well, I did not say it out loud but we have sign language that says that. It is me looking at her wide eyed and shaking my head. She turned and walk out like she was at the wrong place, while I stayed to get the mistaken mother’s wrath.

Bizarre

I once had a friend who was a little mad.
He wasn’t just crazy; he was really bizarre.
He licked his fingers whenever he felt sad,
And had many times jumped out a moving car.

One time he ate a black widow alive,
And at another he kept punching a tree.
He even tried inserting his face into a hive,
How he still lives is a big mystery.

So, he and I were travelling one day,
And he did not like that I was driving slow.
Ironically, he turned to me to say,
No offense, but you’re the weirdest person I know.’

No Offense

In response to Daily Post’s Daily Prompt: No, Thank You

If I could ban a word from general usage, huh? This is tricky. There are so many!

And NO, I am not thinking about banning swear words. Swear words add another dimension to any language—it’s like the ‘deep internet’ of languages. You know about it; you visit the place often; but if somebody asks, you act like you don’t know what they are talking about. (Except if they are your friends)

What Are You Talking About?
What Are You Talking About?

In fact, I sometimes believe all those words should just stop being a taboo. Frankly, it is stupid to feel bad because somebody used a certain word. It really doesn’t matter. I mean, why make a big deal out of it? And we all know that humans are attracted to things only if everyone makes a big deal out of it. Don’t believe me?

Fine. Look at Helen of Troy. Sure, she was called the most beautiful woman in the world but do you think it would have mattered if people didn’t make a big deal about it? A war could have been averted!
Still, don’t believe me? Look at the Kardashians. Do you think they will matter if people stop making a big deal about it? No!

How about pineapples on pizza, then? Should people stop making a big deal about that as well?
No! Nobody should face atrocities such as having your pizza with pineapples!

But seriously, everyone should stop worrying about what people are saying. If you don’t find it helpful, you can ignore it. Take it as moo point.

A Moo Point
A Moo Point

Anyway, moving on from what I don’t want to ban to what I will want to ban. I wouldn’t ban one word. I would ban the whole phrase… *drum roll please*… “No Offense.” (The title gave it away, I know)

It’s pathetic, it’s docile and most of all it’s useless.

Think about it. Every time the phrase ‘no offense’ is used, what is it followed by?
That’s right, you guessed it – An Offense.

statements
Definition of No Offense

If you are going to offend the person anyway, why claim that you mean no offense.

No offense, dude, but you run like a wimp.’

No offense, but I don’t go for guys like you.

No offense but you don’t seem like a person who can write a blog.

(None of these have ever been said to me, I promise)

Cross My Heart
Cross My Heart

So, what do we do then?

Well, you have two options.

Either, a, you shut up! Don’t say anything bad. That’s it!

Or, b, you say it like it is.
>Don’t like his shoes? Say, ‘I don’t like your shoes.’
>Feel that using a phone in vacation is wrong? Say, ‘Using your phone during the vacation makes the vacation useless.’
>Pizzas with pineapples aren’t your thing? Say, ‘WHO the HELL puts PINEAPPLES on their PIZZA?!’

If you can’t say it as it is, you shouldn’t be saying it. Obviously, it would be much better if you could tell them why you don’t like a certain thing. It is then up to them. They may choose to accept it or tell you it’s their choice and you have to accept it.

Either way, don’t hide behind the fake cloud of No Offense.

And if you are by any chance offended by the post, No Offense!

Nope, nope, screw it!
Take all the offense you can. Specially if you are pineapple on Pizza lover.

Till next time, WRITE ON!

That Stinging Sensation

In response to Daily Post’s Daily Prompt: That Stings!

Franz Kafka said, “we ought to read only books that bite and sting us.”

If this were true then we would all be reading the Monster Book of Monsters that Hagrid used as reference material for his Care of Magical Creatures course.

Although, I do agree the essence behind Kafka’s words. We read book that stings us.

Well, if they are talking about the book stinging since there were many mistakes in writing then the last such book I read was… the first draft of my next novel. (But that is what first drafts are all about, right? They are supposed to suck)

But, if it means in a way in which it has moved me and left me with a scar, then the last book I read such would be… still the first draft of my next novel. (Yes, I am sociopath enough to say that)

Although, I do believe there is still a long way to go for my work to come in the leagues of the books that leave a great stinging sensation.

I remember the first time I felt it – the death of Sherlock Holmes in ‘The Final Problem’ (The book, of course, not the BBC Series). I didn’t know then that Holmes has faked his death and was eternally devastated.

Although, Doyle gave into public pressure and brought Holmes back from death (which I would never have), I did learn that to make a great book, we have to bleed on its pages. Not literally—that would just spoil the pages and smudge your words.

It goes without question that the best book of this type that I have come across remains ‘The Song of Ice and Fire’. There might be books better at being ruthless but I have not come across them yet.

Sometimes, though, the characters don’t need to die for the words to sting. Sometimes the characters just have to feel raw human emotions. Take Nicholas Sparks for example. Although, I have only read one of his books—True Believers (Anything with a romantic theme sets me running for cover in underground shelters), I did realise why immensely popular his writing is. His characters are human. They are a part of a society and they act just that way. And when the characters then emote, they seem to be a part of us.

So, whatever way you choose to write make sure the words sting, because a sting sticks on.

Till then, from one writer to another, WRITE ON!

 

A Pill for Food

In response to Daily Post’s Daily Prompt: Red Pill, Blue Pill

The following is an excerpt from how my diary would look like if I happen to find a pill to fulfill all my nutrition requirement for the day

Dear Diary,

7.28 am

I almost committed a murder today. To be fair, it was not my fault—it was for self defense. A weird, long bearded man was sitting in front of my bed when I woke up. I punched him right across the face. How was I to know that he was a wizard from another dimension? I did apologise to him afterwards but I doubt he will forgive me till his black eye exists.

So, anyway, he gave me a magic pill which would provide me with all the nutrition I would need throughout the day. Given the amount of food I consume, I did doubt the legitimacy of the pill. But, the wizard kept insisting that it would work—even for a man who is perpetually hungry throughout the day—and asked me to take it.

Once that was done, he walked out of the door; which makes me question highly if he really was a true wizard—because real wizards tend to teleport.

11.04 am

It is actually working! I haven’t felt hungry yet. Normally, by this time I would have had my breakfast, twice, but I didn’t feel the need for it today.

Maybe he truly was a wizard. I underestimated his powers.

Imagine what I can accomplish today with no need to cook or to spend time eating my meal or to clean up after I have eaten. I can get so much work done.

5.21 pm

I binged watched the entire season of House of Cards. With no need to get food or water, it became all the more easy. I did not have to get up even once after I had found that perfect sweet position on the couch.

House of Cards
House of Cards

Although, I did ruin my chance to get so much of my other work done.

Not to fret. The pill is supposed to work for 24 hours; I still have time. I will get my work done now.

7.26 pm

I finished watching Kingsman.

Kingsman
Kingsman

It was amazing. Colin Firth is just splendid to watch. Not to mention Michael Caine and—

I am still not doing any work! This is just a waste of a perfectly good magic pill.

Maybe I should go for a walk. That can change my mind and freshen me up a bit.

9.01 pm

I ate slice of cake. I know I already had my complete dose of nutrition for the day but it was chocolate and I thought dessert doesn’t count, right? Plus, the pill made me full but it did not have any taste. How can I enjoy food when I do not receive any taste that comes along with it.

Slice of Cake
Slice of Cake

I don’t feel guilty at all. If I could, I would have another slice. In fact, I think there is one in the refrigerator. I will have that and get to my work.

12.31 am

I sat down to do my work and wrote down a few things in the spreadsheet when I remembered that new Deadpool Trailer was out and I hadn’t seen it yet. What harm is one video, right? Well, I don’t know how I reached here but I am currently reading about the mating habits of koala bears. I think that’s enough of internet for today.

I am feeling really sleepy now.

The pill was no use. I didn’t get any work done more than I would have on any other day. In fact, I did less work. I am never going to take that pill again.

Note to self

Never trust a wizard who you find staring at you when you wake up.
Truly speaking, he was very creepy. I don’t even know how long he was staring at me before I woke up; could have been hours, for all I know. (Although, he did claim to have been there only minutes before I woke up).