Break-Up Letter (To Writer’s Block)

Dear Writer’s Block,

It’s not you, it’s me. The thing is, we cannot be together any longer. I mean, I just don’t think we can continue to see each other anymore. Your presence is making me feel restricted; like something is holding me back from doing something I really like.

Again, I would like to stress on the fact that you are not at fault here. You from your side have just been doing exactly what you are supposed to do; but the thing is, with you around I feel miserable. Sure, I enjoy the extra rest that I get with your presence and the fact that when you are here I don’t have to strain my mind thinking up of fantasies and fiction in bed; or on the table; or in the canteen;  in fact, every possible place that I can think of.
But is that what life is all about? Isn’t being together meant to be more than these things?

You tried really hard by making me see the small things in life, like Angry Birds and Candy Crush, but the truth is, as addicting as they are, I never really enjoyed them. I did it because of your presence, and I would like to come out clean and say that if it weren’t for you, I probably would not have been doing those things, EVER. I know this might have shocked you but this is what the truth is. The things I enjoyed due to your presence are not the things I really like.

There are times when people look back at something that went wrong and tell themselves that they are ready to move on, to let go; but then they are somehow afraid to actually do so. Maybe because they are unsure of what the future holds for them. But by being scared of the future, they are holding on to the past, which is not doing them any good at all. I think I have realized that with you, I am just trying to hold on to the past. I think it is about time that we both move on and look at new things life has to offer.

I am sure that there will be another who you will find – you seem to have a knack for that. Someone who is probably more suited to be with you than I am. I really think that you deserve someone better; probably someone who likes your presence and would treat you the way you are supposed to be treated.

In the end I would like to say one last thing. I know this is a small world and people do bump into each other, but with all the time I have spent with you, it would be better if we never see each other again. I say this because I do not want to recreate the feelings that I had when you were around.

I hope you understand that this is the best road for both of us to take.

Farewell.

Steps to Procrastinate

In response to Daily Task of Blogging University’s Writing 101: Let Social Media Inspire You

The following post has a high sarcasm content and is not suitable for people who are easily susceptible to things written on the internet. Reader discretion is advised.

Also, the post is inspired by the following tweet.


I have seen many tips online on how not to procrastinate but I have never found tips which could actually help somebody procrastinate if they are having trouble doing so. I am here to fill that vacant spot by taking the road not taken.

Follow these steps precisely and you will see yourself procrastinate away to glory.

Step 1 – Search for something you should be doing. Make sure it isn’t due for at least a week later. And the more important it is, the better. Do you have to study for an upcoming test? Do you have to make a presentation for work? Do you have to file your returns? Excellent! Just pick any one of them.

Step 2 – Sit at your desk to do it BUT don’t start doing it just yet! Open your laptop to blank power point presentation. Open the book to the page you want to study. After you have done that. Stare at it. Don’t read any of it, just stare it.

Step 3 – Think about how much effort has to be put into this work and then slowly come to a realization that you have a lot of time left for it to be completed. Just gently slide out of your desk.

funny-gif-anime-homework-girl-sleeping
Just Be Gentle

Step 4 – Think about all the other important things that are left. Like laundry. Or maybe you could clean your room that you haven’t cleaned for a long time. You could even try to catch up on the sleep you have been meaning to. (Note this step is for people who are new to procrastination. For more advanced procrastinators – skip straight to step 5)

Rest is Important
Rest is Important

Step 5 – Do none of the important stuff and watch a movie instead – you know you want to, but you never just got the time. Besides, you have a lot of time to complete the work. You will do it tomorrow. Or you could try watching a TV series. Maybe read that book? – Reading is not bad, is it? You could also try searching the internet for work related thing and get caught up looking at cat videos. Or start playing that video game you had been waiting to try.
So many things to do, you can’t start your work just yet.

Listen to Kim
Listen to Kim

Step 6 – Repeat the steps 1 to 5 till there is only one day left to the deadline.

Step 7 – This is a two part step.

a. Enter panic mode and start calculating time left before deadline. In this step make sure you give less time to each part of the process and believe that you can achieve the task in lesser amount of time than you can actually do it in. “Meh! I have 24 hours left. I need only 5 hours to do it.

b. Get complacent and convince yourself that you can squeeze in a movie before you start. After all, you should start with a fresh mind, right? Once you have done that look at the time and convince yourself yet again that you can still binge watch the first season of Game of Thrones and have enough time later do your work.

Step 8 – Now you are really close to your deadline. Only a few hours to go. Plus you have to catch sleep as well. Don’t calm yourself. Let adrenaline kick in – you will need that. And when, and only when, you panic enough for adrenaline to kick in do you move to the next step.

Step 9 – Rush through your work like a drug hazed maniac.

Steps Seven Ate Nine
Steps Seven Ate Nine

Step 10 – This is the last step. You can choose either of the following things to do in this step.
1. Believe that since you could complete the work in 4 hours you must be some genius.
2. Convince yourself that you can only work in the last minute rush and your mind wouldn’t function other wise.
3. Make yourself convinced that if had not been for adrenaline, your creative power would have been slowed by a huge magnitude.

Simply Brilliant

Note – If you are having difficulty in choosing what you have to instead of your work. Don’t go back to your work. You can stare at the wall and ponder about your life choices. That works as well.

This list has worked for me for years. I can even call myself a professional procrastinator now. In fact, I remember I always did double time every time exams were near or I had to submit an assignment. So, you can pretty much trust this list.


“Procrastination doesn’t kill creativity but by no means does it allow it to grow” – Me

Childhood Sweetheart

Inspired by Daily Post’s Daily Prompt: First Crush

I have always wondered why the person you feel attraction towards is called crush.
By my experience, they are aptly named – because they crush your heart and rip your soul before leaving you to be all by yourself in the blight of loneliness.
Then again, I might be overthinking it and it could just be called so because the person makes your stomach crush in excitement.

Overall, I believe everything with a crush feels like an achievement.

Isn't that Sweet?
Isn’t that Sweet?

My first crush was a childhood friend of mine, who we will name Taylor, because I feel like her alias would be Taylor. No, I don’t happen to have a crush on some other girl named Taylor. She just looks like what someone named Taylor might look like, okay? Don’t make it so complicated—Geez!

So, Taylor and I were good friends. I wouldn’t say we were really close but she was one of the few girls who I regularly talked to. Everyone thought she was pretty and liked her style, while I thought she was the bane of my existence. You see we teased each other A LOT. We would not let a single chance go to waste. And yet, at the same time, we were close enough to have discussion of our future.

Hey, I was in middle school, what would I know about my future. But I still did talk to her about it.

Future!!

As we grew a bit older, people around us started to get into relationships and a lot of guys asked her out and she refused. Not that she was waiting for someone specific. Even if she was, it wasn’t me – so don’t get your hopes up. (Also, SPOILERS: The story has an anti-climatic end, so stop reading now if you are expecting something to happen)

So, where was I? – Oh yeah! So a lot of my friends got into a relationship and kept asking me if I liked some girl as well. And if I did, I should ask her out. Well, Taylor was pretty and I did like her in a very innocent way, so I told my friends that I liked her. BAD MOVE!

You know how kids are, right? Word spread and few guys who had gotten rejected by her came up to me probably looking for a fight.

Hey, you want to get punched?

Stay away from her.

She is mine.’

And to all of that my reply was “I don’t care”. Except the first question about getting punched. To that I obviously replied – “No”.

I kept talking to her and it felt like things were going well. I even felt a little connection going on.
But soon I had to transfer to a different school in another city and I couldn’t keep in touch with her.

When I did go back to the city, I found that my so called friends had been teasing Taylor about her boyfriend, me, which had eventually led her to despise me when I had not done anything in the first place. She talked to me but in a very superficial way and possibly thought me to be a creep for spreading rumors about her. (Told you the end was anti-climatic)

Not a Creep
Not a Creep

So, yeah, that’s how my story with my crush went. Albeit, it was more interesting in reality but I tried to describe a big chunk of my life in a blog post of less than 700 words. What do you expect?

If I do meet her again, I would like to explain that things weren’t how it seemed. And I hope she understands that it was my friends who spread the rumor, not me. And although, there is a slim chance of it happening, I would also like to talk to her like the old times. I was not very much attracted to her either, just more than the other girls around. (On second thought, I think I will skip telling her the last bit)

So, do you have a similar first crush story? Would really like to read it. And until next time, from one writer to another, WRITE ON!

A Pill for Food

In response to Daily Post’s Daily Prompt: Red Pill, Blue Pill

The following is an excerpt from how my diary would look like if I happen to find a pill to fulfill all my nutrition requirement for the day

Dear Diary,

7.28 am

I almost committed a murder today. To be fair, it was not my fault—it was for self defense. A weird, long bearded man was sitting in front of my bed when I woke up. I punched him right across the face. How was I to know that he was a wizard from another dimension? I did apologise to him afterwards but I doubt he will forgive me till his black eye exists.

So, anyway, he gave me a magic pill which would provide me with all the nutrition I would need throughout the day. Given the amount of food I consume, I did doubt the legitimacy of the pill. But, the wizard kept insisting that it would work—even for a man who is perpetually hungry throughout the day—and asked me to take it.

Once that was done, he walked out of the door; which makes me question highly if he really was a true wizard—because real wizards tend to teleport.

11.04 am

It is actually working! I haven’t felt hungry yet. Normally, by this time I would have had my breakfast, twice, but I didn’t feel the need for it today.

Maybe he truly was a wizard. I underestimated his powers.

Imagine what I can accomplish today with no need to cook or to spend time eating my meal or to clean up after I have eaten. I can get so much work done.

5.21 pm

I binged watched the entire season of House of Cards. With no need to get food or water, it became all the more easy. I did not have to get up even once after I had found that perfect sweet position on the couch.

House of Cards
House of Cards

Although, I did ruin my chance to get so much of my other work done.

Not to fret. The pill is supposed to work for 24 hours; I still have time. I will get my work done now.

7.26 pm

I finished watching Kingsman.

Kingsman
Kingsman

It was amazing. Colin Firth is just splendid to watch. Not to mention Michael Caine and—

I am still not doing any work! This is just a waste of a perfectly good magic pill.

Maybe I should go for a walk. That can change my mind and freshen me up a bit.

9.01 pm

I ate slice of cake. I know I already had my complete dose of nutrition for the day but it was chocolate and I thought dessert doesn’t count, right? Plus, the pill made me full but it did not have any taste. How can I enjoy food when I do not receive any taste that comes along with it.

Slice of Cake
Slice of Cake

I don’t feel guilty at all. If I could, I would have another slice. In fact, I think there is one in the refrigerator. I will have that and get to my work.

12.31 am

I sat down to do my work and wrote down a few things in the spreadsheet when I remembered that new Deadpool Trailer was out and I hadn’t seen it yet. What harm is one video, right? Well, I don’t know how I reached here but I am currently reading about the mating habits of koala bears. I think that’s enough of internet for today.

I am feeling really sleepy now.

The pill was no use. I didn’t get any work done more than I would have on any other day. In fact, I did less work. I am never going to take that pill again.

Note to self

Never trust a wizard who you find staring at you when you wake up.
Truly speaking, he was very creepy. I don’t even know how long he was staring at me before I woke up; could have been hours, for all I know. (Although, he did claim to have been there only minutes before I woke up).

If You Are Reading This

Activity of Daily Task from Blogging 101

Today’s activity involves us writing from the Daily Post’s Daily Prompt. Ha! Piece of cake.

Many Pieces Actually
Many Pieces Actually

I have been writing from prompts my whole life.

Well, not my whole life but my whole blogging life.

Well, actually, not even my whole blogging life. Some of the posts are my own thought, some are inspired, some are… What I mean to say is that I have written on the basis of many blogging prompts. (See, this doesn’t sound as fancy. The “whole life” thing was so cool!)

This prompt comes from the Daily Post’s Daily Prompt: Community Service

Now, I know you guys would be lazy and wont click on the link to find out what the prompt is so I will write it here. (Don’t blame you, actually—would have done the same if I were in your place).

The prompt says
Your entire community — however you define that; your hometown, your neighborhood, your family, your colleagues — is guaranteed to read your blog tomorrow. Write the post you’d like them all to see.

Okay, then. *inhale*

Alright, then. *exhale*

No pressure at all. Everyone I know is going to read this and I feel no pressure at all. *breath deeply*

Deep Breaths
Take Deep Breaths

Are you kidding me? Everyone I know is going to read this?!

I am anonymous, how did you find my blog? How did you know I even write a blog? How did grandma know how to use the internet without calling me twice? So many questions, none that can be answered but I just have to go on writing.

First up, Mom, Dad, I have to tell you something. I write a blog. I know it is pretty obvious now that you are here and reading it but I don’t want to have a conversation later where you tell me that I never tell you what I keep doing in life.

Great, now that that’s out of the way…

Oh wait! There is one more thing – To my family. If you decide to read a few other posts in the blog they might contain words such as…, well words after which you would generally try to wash my mouth with soap.

Clean The Filthy Mouth
Clean The Filthy Mouth

As surprising as it may seem, yeah, I know them.

To my colleagues, if you happen to find a post here where I wrote something about not liking people at work, rest assured it’s not about you. It’s about those IT guys in the bottom floor. Unless, you are the IT guys from the bottom floor, in which case, it is totally about those guys in my floor.

Apparently, my neighbor is also reading this. Obviously, using my wi-fi. Yes, I know—I just don’t change the password because of decency and the fact that I have an unlimited data plan. By the way, you should know that I can access your searches (yes, even the incognito mode ones). Also, your dog is really loud.

Oh! If you are the pretty girl who stays above me, that paragraph was not for you and your cat is totally not loud, especially at two o’ clock at night.

My friends who happen to be reading this, all I would like to say is—nothing. Go, sod off! You all forget to invite me to parties and then come here to read my blog? Go away! (But seriously, invite me next time, okay?)

So, to all of you, as you can see, I am internet celebrity now even though I am anonymous. I mean, I manage to get a humongous total of 10 likes on my posts (Well a few them have managed to reach 10).

So, stick around and read more of my posts and have fu…

…Where are you all going? I write well. Okay, slightly well. Fine, I spew out nonsensical words.

Come back, please! I will get better. I promise.

Damn!

A Field Day for Commenting

Activity of Daily Task from Blogging 101

Internet comment section – A place to voice an opinion nobody really cares for, to argue with people you don’t really know, about topics that you don’t fully understand.

It has even managed to make the smelly, old monster living under the bridge in the old fairy tales seem like a very likable person.

Trolling Before it was Cool

Thankfully, most problems related to comment section have been taken care of by WordPress by giving the bloggers to moderate their comment section.

This brings us to daily task of Blogging 101. If you are following this blog regularly (Pfft – high chance of that happening) and were wondering why I am not posting about daily task every day, it’s not because I am skipping them (stop being judgmental – I already have my dad doing that for me). There are a few tasks which have to be done in the background and I chose to not write about them.

Anyway, so the daily task is asking us to comment on a few blogs which we have not visited before – 4 blogs to be precise – and then write a post about those topics/pages/blogs.

Here are my pick for the Top 4 in no special order


Number 4: Sincerely, Hil

This is a post about why she chooses to print out her photos in the age of digital photography. It helped me get inspired for a short story. So this is specially great.

Number 3: Anand’s Caricatures and Parodies

In this post Anand describes how cumbersome this whole ordeal of opening our laptops/PC and moving around a few fingers—which hardly burn a calorie—to get our work done can be. It sounds easy but trust me, it’s not. Plus, he is hilarious. There is so much to learn from him.

Number 2: In Noir Velvet

It would have been a sin to not include this. If you ever thought you need lots of words to convey something, you should really take a look at this blog. I am absolutely astounded by how much can be said in 6 words. Although, I like most of the posts in the blog – I chose to comment on the most recent one. Check it out.

Number 1: A Narcissist Writes Letters, to Himself

This blog is my personal favorite and also the first blog which compelled me to click the follow button. I am a miser in that aspect. Poetry with humor at its finest. Plus, he picks topics which one might think to be a taboo and yet present it in a humorous fashion (dark humor it’s called, I think), plus points for that.


There are a variety of different blogs out there and I hope to learn something from all of them. Anything which can give me a new outlook for any writing style – serious, dark, humorous. I am planning to gain a lot of knowledge through blogging.

New Things Every Day
New Things Every Day

Lets see how much of that can actually happen.

Till then, from one writer to another, WRITE ON!

For The Ideal Audience

Activity of Daily Task from Blogging 101

Well played Blogging University, well played.

For the Daily Task for Day 4, we have to write a post keeping in mind our ideal audience, and to top it all introduce a new-to-me element in the blog.

It’s all good and all but what if your ideal reader happens to be just about anybody who is unfortunate enough- ahem, I mean blessed enough to stumble across your blog page. What happens then? Who do I address the post to then? Huh?

As for the new-to-me element, that part is easy. I have been meaning to write a poem on my blog for quite some while; I think I will do just that.

So, to sum it all up, a new type of post but written in the same way as to address my “ideal” audience.

Same but Different
Same but Different

So, then I guess I will just have to try my hand at funny poetry. I know; I will write a haiku.

I do not write poetry a lot, let alone haiku, so do not expect much. Plus, I am trying to put humor in it, so… I really don’t know.


heavy rain
dam break revealing
rolling tears


Damn it! I wrote something serious!

Let me try again.


martyr cemetery
cold wind whistles
last breaths


It’s not working! This one was serious again!

I guess, it’s really tough to write a funny haiku. Given the fact that I am not good with poetry anyway, I guess it would be tougher for me.

I guess this will have to do for now. I will try to write a funny poem (Yes, I have dropped down a bit from funny haiku aim, seeming it cannot be done) and one day I will succeed.

Till then, from one writer to another – WRITE ON!

PS – If you happen to know a funny haiku. I would like to read it.

And So It Begins (Again)

Activity of Daily Task from Blogging 101

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth.” – Oscar Wilde

It is with this thought, I began the blog which you are currently on. A couple of months and 25 or so posts since the origin, the plan SEEMS to successful enough. Obviously, as is with everything in life, some ideas have changed.

To give a background to what’s happening in this post, let me tell you about Blogging 101.

In short, it is Daily Post’s way to help us get started with blogging and I finally pulled myself together and forced myself to register for it.

*cue to give a round of applause*

Round Of Applause

You don’t have to be as creepy about it, though.

Anyway the thing is, I had already started and the first task is to introduce the blog.

So, what now? – I hear you ask. Nothing. I just have to write myself another introduction.

Once again, I would like to mention that this blog is not topic driven, it is to write about anything and everything that comes into the twisted mind of mine.

Evil Laugh
Evil Laugh

The other reason for the existence for this blog could be cited as follows

  • To talk about things not generally talked about
  • To experiment with my writing style
  • To, generally, make you laugh, or at least smile. (Sometimes there will be serious stuff in here as well and if you laugh at those then it’s your call. It would be utterly creepy but still your call, nonetheless.)
  • To write about ideas that I have that don’t fit into any of my short stories or my novels
  • To, basically, write about anything and everything (so, I am open to suggestions, if you have any)

So, to put into perspective. It is going to be fun here (I hope), and it my have perspectives you might not necessarily agree with. So, ENTER AT YOUR OWN PERIL! (But if you do choose to enter, the door’s unlocked)

As for who I am. I am the person of the night. I am the one who is sitting next to you in the coffee shop, or behind you in the bus. I am the one who opens the door and I am the one who knocks.

The One Who Knocks
The One Who Knocks

I am everywhere, yet I am nowhere. I am an observer. I am the silent guardian, the watchful protector. I am going on with this longer than I should, so here it is… I am The AnonymouSTalker!

I choose to remain anonymous so that my blog is not affected by my fame in real life, and vice versa.

I am going to take this chance to coin a catchphrase for my blog. I think I will use it in my non-fiction posts from now on – From one writer to another, WRITE ON!

Faux Pas

In response to Daily Post’s Daily Prompt: Dictionary, Shmictionary

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental… ALRIGHT, fine, it’s not. It happened to me.

It happened long time ago when I read the words “faux pas” in a book I was reading. By context I felt the word to be a wrong doing of sort which was correct, in a sense. The fact that I decided to use a new word without looking at the dictionary was already a huge blunder but I decided to do it with a word for which the pronunciation mattered a lot.

‘This just in, the world famous boxer has just been tested positive for illegal drugs just before Olympics. The boxer’s manager claims that the test might have resulted positive due to the presence of the substance in his prescribed medicines. Investigations are on going…’ the TV blared as my friends and I played Monopoly on a weekend. We kept the TV on for reasons which were never clear to me but all of us had accepted that it would be on. I guess, we needed some sort of noise to constantly run in the background since all of us had gotten so used to it.

‘Oh man!’ one of friends complained probably in attempt to distract us from the fact he had landed on an already owned property. ‘I really liked this boxer, he shouldn’t be banned.’

‘If he got caught it is really a fox pass on his part,’ I shrugged.

‘A what?’

‘You know, a fox pass. When someone does something wrong.’

‘Oh! You mean faux pas! You didn’t even use it correctly. What a failed show off you are!’

I hung my beetroot red face as everyone laughed at my hilarious “fox pass“.

That Distant Aunt’s Child Day

In response to The Daily Post’s Daily Prompt: Familial Feasts

While growing up, every once in a while (sometimes more than that) there happens to be a time when everyone is faced with a talk with the parents where they are told to do better than they are currently doing in life. This could range from anything in between performing better in studies to being more sporty or even sometimes just being better behaved in general.

And every time one is told to do any of those things which seem so exasperating, there is always this one thing which parents bring up which seem to further make sour the mood the child was already in; and that is draw comparison to that distant aunt’s child (whom we have probably not met for a long, long time).

“Look at Sophie. She always gets straight As.”

“Your aunt Reena’s son is a national champion in swimming.”

“His child sat quietly as we talked. Not once did he disturb us.”

And every time they are told to do better so that they could be comparable to that distant aunt’s son or daughter.

And everyone has been influenced to do great things because of them. Whether or not it actually worked still remains to be deciphered but they have been a part of everyone’s lives, nonetheless.

So, figuring that these relatives have such an important role to play in everyone’s life, it is obvious that there should be a day dedicated to them.

What should be done on this day, I hear you ask? That I leave for you to decide.

I for one would search for the person and find out if he is as great as my parents told him to be. Chances are he would be out searching for me for the same reason as well.