In response to Blogging University’s Writing 101 Daily Task: One-word Inspiration
Prompt: Home
It was almost close to one o’ clock in the night. There would be no better time to strike.
Fred checked again if every light in the house was still off and nodded his head – it was.
He observed both sides of the street carefully to make sure there was nobody watching, especially the neighbors.
If any of the neighbors saw him, there would be no point him managing to sneak into the house at all.
All clear. He took a deep breath. There was just one more thing he had to look out for.
According to his calculation the car belonging to city watch should pass by any minute. Only once they are out of sight, would he move to implement his plan.
Fred waited a bit further down the streets, in the cover of shadows. Every breath he exhaled formed a wisp of smoke as it froze in front of him. He rubbed his hands to generate a little heat and put them in his pocket. The worst part of waiting was probably the cold which would onset in the wee hours.
It did not take long for the city watch car to appear in the horizon. Within a minute, it passed in front of the house Fred was aiming to break into and then passed him, without much of a second glance, as it continued down the street. There was no way he would have been visible in the shroud of darkness but even if he was, they did not seem to care about his presence.
As soon as the car was gone, he scampered to the front door and turned the handle softly. It was locked—obviously—but he had to check. If it had been open, half his work would have been done. He looked around the yard for places where the key would generally be hidden.
Not under the door mat. Not under on the ledge above the door. Not taped under the mailbox. There it is!
He finally found it in a very suspicious piece of granite which clearly did not belong with the rest of the stones in the garden.
Fred smiled. Sometimes, things are too easy.
He unlocked the door and carefully stepped inside. He made sure not to make any noise as he tip-toed to the kitchen. All the wait had made him thirsty, he needed to drink some water before he proceeded upstairs.
But, as soon as he stepped in the kitchen he realized that he had committed a grievous mistake. The moment he stepped in, the lights came on and the owner of the house could be visibly seen seated near the dining table.
Fred froze in his tracks. He had been caught red handed. There was no other way out of it now except to apologize and accept his mistake.
He looked down on the ground. ‘Sorry, mom’ he said. ‘It got late at the party.’
Hello Stalker,
What a twist! I thought he was a burglar trying to break into someone else’s home. He was breaking his own? How unusual!
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Interesting story.
I love the picture. Perfect.
have a great day ahead.
Anand 🙂
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I love this! Well done!
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Oh! The suspenseful build-up! Then the anti-climax! Very good!
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It was good 🙂 You maintained the suspense till the end 🙂 Bravo 🙂
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Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Reminded me of something that happened with me once, and yet, I couldn’t see where the story was going!
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I have heard the wrath of a Punjabi mother is unparalleled. Did you manage to escape without any bruises or scars?
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Mom used to operate through Dad…
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Oh Fred. Why did you do that?
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Probably so that he doesn’t have to face the wrath of his mother in the middle of the night. Can’t blame him really.
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I should’ve been clearer. “Fred, why did you get caught?” 🙂
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Haha.
Yes, now that is a question Fred will be pondering for a while as well.
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I liked the twist! And I really enjoyed the way you composed it 🙂
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Great ending. Brilliant.
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As the mother of two sons, I loved it. Many nights I sat up. The time in my life when I became a serious Bible reader! However, it was still a surprise ending to me. I thought it was going to be a wife who he would be accountable to.
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I think a woman would wait longer for her sons than her husband. For you mothers, children will always remain kids, right?
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Once in the heart, always in the heart. Once out of the home, they come and go as they please. I do treat them as adults who will always be welcome in my heart and home. However, seeing them as grandfathers is not possible even yet. I reach for their shoulders when they give me one-armed hugs. I can be satisfied in the “kid” part of my heart by their kids, and grand-kids.
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Mind bending. Nice one 🙂
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Wonderful twist! You did a great job of building tension throughout the piece. Very nicely done. 🙂
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Haha – that twist at the end is brilliant. I wasn’t expecting that! Nice work
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Haahaha! Beautiful story beautiful ending! You are a great writer, you covered all your bases!
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Please accept my gratitude.
The compliment is too big for a mere thanks. So, I promise to keep delivering content like this and better.
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So well done! Love the ending!
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Terrific writing. A little gem of a story with a fun surprise ending.
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